Is your self esteem low? Are you in a rut and feel that you’ve lost that spark that helps you get out of bed in the morning? We all have moments like those, when we feel less than enough. Moments when self-doubt creeps in, and we start questioning our worth. If you find yourself unhappy and looking for ways to feel better about yourself, know that you are not alone, and there is a path to rediscovering your self esteem. This journey is not just about feeling good in the moment; it’s about cultivating a lasting sense of self-worth. Here’s how you can start:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Your first course of action is to acknowledging how you feel. It’s okay to admit that you’re struggling. Bottling up your emotions or pretending everything is fine can exacerbate the issue. One of my favourite self-help ideas comes from renowned research professor, Brene Brown; “embrace the suck”. Take a moment to sit with your feelings, understand them, and accept that it’s perfectly normal to have them.
2. Identify Negative Self-Talk
What is your inner voice saying to you? We often are our own harshest critics. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. Are you kind and compassionate, or do you constantly put yourself down? Try to identify negative self-talk patterns. Once you notice them, challenge these thoughts. Would you say those things to a friend? If the answer is no, it’s time to change the narrative.
3. Set Realistic Goals
Having goals is so important. Setting and achieving small, realistic goals can provide a sense of accomplishment and boost your self esteem. They give you purpose to keep moving forward. These goals don’t have to be monumental; they can be as simple as making your bed each morning, going for a walk, or finishing a book. Celebrate these small wins—they’re steps towards a more confident you.
4. Focus on Your Strengths
Everyone has unique strengths and gifts. Do you acknowledge what yours are? Take some time to identify them. What are you good at? What do people often compliment you on? Make a list of these strengths and remind yourself of them regularly. Focusing on what you do well can help shift your mindset from what you lack to what you have. If the thought of this leaves you feeling unsure of where to start, taking an assessment like the Kolbe A Index can help uncover your natural strengths and get the ball rolling on strengths that you naturally possess.
5. Practice Self-Care
Self-care is crucial for maintaining good mental health and self esteem. This can be anything that makes you feel good and relaxed—reading a book, taking a bath, exercising, or spending time with loved ones. Stop and think about things that enjoy or people you like to spend time with. Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
6. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
The people we surround ourselves with can have a significant impact on how we feel about ourselves. Be intentional about building relationships that uplift and support you. Distance yourself from those who bring negativity into your life. Surrounding yourself with positivity can help reinforce your self worth.
7. Learn to Accept Compliments
How do you take compliments? Do you brush them off or downplay them? Learning to accept compliments graciously can improve your self esteem. It will take practice but next time someone says something nice about you, try responding with a simple “Thank you,” and then stop and say nothing else. Accepting praise helps you recognize your positive qualities.
8. Forgive Yourself
We all make mistakes; it’s a part of being human. Holding onto past mistakes can weigh heavily on your self esteem. Learn to forgive yourself. Acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and then let it go. Self compassion is a powerful tool for building self esteem.
9. Seek Professional Help
If you find it difficult to improve your self esteem on your own, consider seeking help from a therapist, counsellor or coach. They can provide you with tools and strategies tailored to your specific situation. There is no shame in asking for help; it’s a brave step towards a healthier, happier you.
10. Celebrate Your Progress
Improving self esteem is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. Each step forward is a victory. Keep a journal of your achievements and reflect on how far you’ve come.
Final Thoughts
Building self esteem takes time and effort, but it is entirely possible. Be patient with yourself and remember that you are worthy of love and respect, including your own. Embrace your unique qualities, practice self compassion, and keep moving forward. Your inner light is there, waiting to shine brightly again.
If you find these steps helpful, share this post with someone who might benefit from it. Together, we can support each other on the journey to better self esteem and a happier, more fulfilling life.
